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The Plays

Here are a few examples of the plays I've written and had produced.  If you scroll down the page you will see I've also included a couple of plays and screenplays which are yet to be produced too.  All of them are available so if you are interested in either having a read or producing one just drop me a line on the CONTACT page. 

Theatre plays

Remember Jim
This is my most recent play which toured the North East and played The Theatre Royal Newcastle, Durham Gala Theatre, Customs House South Shields and Arts Centre Washington.  Set in a panto dressing room it's a darkly comic thriller. Ben and Lou are two somewhat jaded actors appearing in a "Crappy" provincial pantomime.  They are about to start show 34 when into their dressing room comes a face from the past - Jim - and he's out for revenge for something Ben and Lou did to him way back in Drama school twenty five years ago.  Cast is three male and one female. 
 
"It’s quite simple to tell if something is a comedy – you hear an audience laugh, and this production did exactly what it promised. Washington-based Neil Armstrong has penned, directed and stars in this hugely entertaining dark and mysterious piece,  with an excellent cast around him – ex-RSC Peter Peverley, David Tarkenter and Christina Berriman Dawson - A cracking night's entertainment" - Ed Waugh The Sunderland Echo

 

Nefairyus

This is a trilogy of short plays I wrote for Theatre of Moths.  They are modern day Fairy Tales for grown ups.  "The Thirteenth Fairway" centers around A golf addicted businessman whose life is turned upside down with the arrival of a malevolent little fairy on the 13th tee.  "The Fairy Investigation Society" (Written with Duncan Allan) is a silent movie onstage as three famous members of this true to life society try to catch themselves a fairy.  And finally "The Return of the Truth Fairy" - a washed up writer retreats to a cottage in the Norfolk Fens in an attempt to write his "difficult" second novel.  Help is at hand when a Bogart Fairy pays him a visit and writes the damn thing for him.  Claiming the work to be his own the Fairy unleashes a curse on him that causes every child who reads the book to...well I'll not spoil it for you.  Can be performed with a cast of three adults (Two male, one female) and two child actors.

 

The Dark Side of the Half Moon
(Written by Neil Armstrong & Brian Walsh)
 

This play has been produced twice at the Customs House Theatre South Shields.  There's murder afoot at the local - or is there?  To begin with there's certainly "Hell on".  The regulars are up in arms about new landlord Trevor's intentions to turn their beloved flea-pit into a trendy cafe bar.  In an attempt to buck this trend they organise a snail race in the pub one wet Tuesday night.  Bored stupid by the snails collective inability to actually race the lads beer soaked minds begin to wander to the dark side - and a grizzly question becomes more and more relevant to them - Has Trevor murdered his wife?

A black comedy with a cast of six males and two females.

Strangers on a Bus
 
This is a play I was commissioned to write for Cloud Nine Theatre Company.   An everyday journey turns into a life changing opportunity one day when a group of strangers hop on a bus to darkest Sunderland.   What begins as a ride through the mundane lives of those on board culminates in guns, violence, the flames of hell and a marriage proposal.  This is an Ea;ling Style modern day comedy with a cast of ten.  (Six Male - Six Female).  
 
 
Bernard
 
Bernard wants to be a super-hero - just like his Dad.  Trouble is Bernard is 35 and still lives with his Mam.  Dad (Or Captain Wonderpants as he is known in crime fighting circles) has long since fled the nest.  However a surprise invite to the annual Superhero awards ceremony convinces Bernard he still might be able to follow in his father's heroic footsteps.  This one act play was written with a group of young people from Newcastle's Live Youth Theatre's Past Forward event.
 
Harmony
 
This is a youth theatre play commissioned by Customs House South Shields.  A teenage girl Lizzy and her wannabee boyfriend Bez arrive in a strange village called Harmony.  Lizzy is on a mission - she has received an anonymous letter telling her that she needs to visit Harmony.   As soon as they arrive they begin to think  there's something not quite right about this village - everyone is friendly - perhaps too friendly and Lizzy is about to discover the real reason why she has been summoned there.
 
This play is published through Lazy Bee publishers if you wish to read a sample or buy the play and it's music score you can do so by visiting...
 
lazybeescripts.co.uk
 
 
Umbrellas!
This is a short one act play with music written for Stage Youth Theatre Tynemouth.  Umbrellas! is set on an island called Sunfaria.  Our hero is Enrico - an Umbrella salesman with a problem.  His problem is that Sunfaria is a tropical island where it only ever rains a couple of days a year.  However the unexpected arrival of a little cloud turns Enrico's life upside down.  The cloud appears to be stuck over the island and for the first time in Sunfaria's history it's now raining non-stop.  Initially Enrico and his Grandma are made up - their Umbrella business is now suddenly booming.  The Governor of the island however is not amused - the rain is killing off the tourist trade and everyone apart from Enrico is up in arms.  The islanders begin to turn on Enrico - they begin to suspect he has somehow caused this terrible weather. His Grandma is thrown in jail and Enrico is ordered to get rid of the cloud.  Suitable for an ensemble cast.
 
 
 
The Puppet King - A Musical
The Puppet King is a full musical commissioned by Robson Green's Coastal Productions and was performed at Live Theatre Newcastle.   The King is in his castle and all is not well - his wife has just left him and he's at his lowest ebb. Worse is to come however as unbeknownst to the King, his brother The Prime Minister, is pulling the strings behind his back.   Jealous of the King's position the PM and his government plot to seize power from the distraught King and the population better watch out.   A Machiavellian tale of sibling rivalry set to some glorious tunes and suitable for a large cast. 
  
 
 
Dracula - One Bloody Night in Whitby
(By Neil Armstrong & Michelle Lyndsay)
 
This is an as yet un-produced play with music was commissioned by Loraine Crosby.  It's a new take on the Dracula legend.  In this version we have Dracula as a sort of Victorian Jim Morrison who winds up on the shores of Whitby.  He first befriends Renfield and then becomes bewitched by Mina Harker.  In our version the villain of the piece is Jonathon Harker - a manipulative control freak who tries to keep Mina in her place and subsequently finds that task impossible when the free-spirited Dracula strolls into town.  A witty dark folk tale which we are very keen to stage.  It requires a large ensemble cast and chorus and probably quite a lot of money...anyone?
 
The Gingerbread Girl
 
A play I was commissioned to write for Stage Youth Theatre Tynemouth. Elizabeth is a teenage girl who is about to leave the sixth form and head for university.  With pressure from her parents to get the best grades and get to the best university she begins to crack.  A little Gingerbread Girl appears in the common room one day from out of a cupboard.  Elizabeth is both terrified and intrigued - she seems to remember this strange little girl - a fictional character from her past has just come back into her life.   A fantasy piece as two worlds collide - the real and the imagined all begin to merge within the confines of a modern day comprehensive school.  Suitable for a large cast ages 5 to 18.
 

Sceenplays

I have also recently written two screenplays which are available for purusal...they are...

Jesus Robinson
 
Jesus Robinson is having an identity crisis.  raised a Sikh by a Christian he's never been quite sure of who he is.  Stuck in a dead end job his life is turned around when he is sacked from a supermarket and gets a job in Durham Cathedral as a security guard.  (The fact that he is called Jesus has gone a long way towards helping him secure the post.)  On his first day of work in his new job a bunch of bad guys arrive and attempt to steal the bones of Saint Cuthbert which are housed in the Cathedral.  Jesus must become the hero and save the dead guy's remains.  It's not going to be easy however - he is up against a crack team of Mercenaries, a crooked Arch Bishop of Canterbury and His Holiness The Pope no-less - can he rise to the challenge?
Silence
 
Set in the USA and the UK in the 1920's, this is a thriller about a silent movie actress who kills her husband then realises if she had just waited a couple of hours he would have died anyway.  Forced to cover her tracks she flees back to her homeland - the idyllic English Lake District.  Her life is back on track - she has fallen in love with a new man and they plan to marry but little does she realise, her past is hot on her trail - her silence over what went on in America is about to be broken.  Written in the tradition of a classic Hitchcock - a dark sense of humor underpins the whole thing.

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